Fibro Mommy of 3

Wuve, twuu Wuve

2012-02-01T17:07:00.001-07:00

Anytime I think of the word “Love”, I think of the movie Princess Bride and the famous saying. With February upon us, the worlds focus will definitely be on love. However, our church as really been focusing on love for a while. And February will just magnify it even more.

God’s #1 mandate for our lives is to Love God, Love People! The tricky part comes in with the loving other people. Yes, we may think we can love other people pretty easily or the ones that are easy to love. What about the unlovable people in your life?

God wants us to love people as God would love them. Wow, like that should just hit you smack in the head. We aren’t supposed to love people how WE think they should be love, but how GOD wants us to love them and commands us to love.

So how is that working in your life??? I know that definitely means some changes in my life. So here is my challenge for you…while we are in the month of LOVE, evaluate how you love. Are you loving as God commands?

Nice Surprise

2012-01-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

While we were having fun with family, we went into a cute, hip store down on Mill Ave. I was with my absolutely gorgeous and skinny SIL and her mom (who is just as skinny and gorgeous). As we went into the store to look at their 75% clearance rack (even though I had no money to buy anything), I got a little nervous because I feared I couldn’t fit anything in the store. And my SIL immediately found a top that she thought would look great on me and begged me to just try it on. I secretly looked at the size and it was a large and I still thought “yea right.”

Well, I agreed to just try it on and guess what….it actually fit! I didn’t have any problems putting it over my head or anything. I was shocked. We were in a shop that skinny, hip college girls shopped in and I was actually wearing a shirt in this store! Well, it turned out that the color and cut just didn’t look right. But then get this….a shirt that my SIL’s mom had tried on was given to me to try on (and let me tell you, she is much smaller on top than me). So without even thinking about it or looking at the size, I try it on. It was a tiny tight in a few areas, but I will be on weight watchers again and it is a tight fitting shirt in those areas too. But all-in-all it FIT!!!! My SIL loved it on me so much that she said she would buy it for me.

So I got a cool shirt now that I can wear out on a date or shopping. And to boot, while we were eating dinner later I happen to look at the size of the shirt and guess what……. A SMALL!!!!! I was completely shocked to say the least. Yay weight loss. Now to get off the last 20 pounds and down to my goal weight! I will have to post a picture of the shirt when I have it on.

Christmas Wrap-up

2012-01-09T08:36:00.001-07:00

Wow, what a great December/Christmas we had. We did a lot of fun activities with the girls and family. I had many times that I wanted to blog, but just found that I didn’t have any time. We were so busy, I had to try and catch up on sleep when I could. I did get sick and am still on antibiotics, but it hasn’t been anything too serious (though I did miss all of Christmas Eve with ML’s family with a throwing up child).

Our event's consisted of: walk-thru Bethlehem/live Nativity with the girls and friends, Christmas Under the Stars with our church, sleepovers with friends and grandparents, bowling on Christmas Day with family, road trip to Sedona, Jerome, and outlet stores, Tempe Town Lake, going to the movies, and shopping for a needy family and delivering their presents. Well, that’s all I can remember right now.

We just love spending time with our families. It was extra special because we have South African family that was in town for 10 days and we got to spend tons of fun with them. This was the first time the girls had met them and they immediately fell in love with them. I think we created some great memories for the girls that they will remember for a lifetime.

And now that today is the first day back to school, it’s time to get the house back in order and mommy to rest and get back on a good schedule. I am glad that 2012 is here and so excited to see what God has in store.

Happy 2012 to you!

Balloon Glow and Tree Lighting

2011-12-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

I just love our town. They have so many family friendly FREE events. This was the first year we went to the Balloon Glow and Tree Lighting. Of course, I go to take my first picture and the camera’s batteries die. So these pics are compliments of my cell phone (not too bad). Unfortunately, the picture of the tree didn’t turn out. But, boy, were the balloons awesome. We got to get up close and personal with them.

We were so close we could feel the heat from the fire and smell the propane burning. It was awesome for ML and I and for the girls. We had never been that close to hot air balloons. And getting to watch them from beginning to end was soooo cool. Now if only we could for an actual ride.

Christmas Kid Funny

2011-12-20T20:50:00.001-07:00

Driving to school the other morning:

Little Miss A: "Mom, can you smell my breath this morning?"

          Me: pausing for a long moment and thinking "no, I don't realy want to"

          Little Miss A: "Mom, can you smell my breath this morning?"

          Me: and then it hits me..."Yes, I think we can SEE our breath this morning"

Gingerbread House Fun

2011-12-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

We always end up doing Gingerbread Houses at some point doing the Christmas Season. We have become “honorary neighbors” to some friends of ours even though we live several miles away. Our friends were hosting breakfast for their neighbors and we were invited. It was such a cool thing, I hope to do it for our neighbors one year. But anyway, my friend Veronica bought the simplest stuff for the kids to make gingerbread houses with. My girls had so much fun and it was so easy. I will definitely do it this way next year (just use graham crackers, frosting, and candy).

Fibro Friday: Back Injections

2011-12-09T15:48:00.000-07:00

A couple months ago I started physical therapy as part of my pain management. Another part of the treatment has been having injections in my back of steroids. I have had 2 injections now and thankfully they are working. The first one started working pretty fast which I was happy about since I have heard you never know what might happen. And the second one worked and the doctor said we could stop at 2 which is awesome.

It is pretty interesting when I am done with them and being released. My legs, especially my right, become very numb and I can’t walk. It was quite humorous I can imagine watching my mom and I the first time trying to get into my house. The second time, ML went so that he could be with me and I think he was shocked at how much it affected my legs. Good thing he is nice and strong and could get me into the house with no problem.

I am glad to be done with them for now and so thankful that they have worked. Woo hoo for pain going away!!!!

Thanksgiving Reflections

2011-12-05T15:37:00.000-07:00

What a fun month November was. Looking back, I can’t remember everything that we did, but I do remember a lot of baking. I can’t tell you how many loaves of my Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread (to die for!) I made. I also found a recipe for Pumpkin Cream Cheese Truffles and tried those…to die for!!! Those were a bit hit and I made 4-6 batches of those (I can’t remember now).

It has become our tradition to host Thanksgiving and I love it! ML always helps clean the house which helps and my mom even helped this year. It makes it so nice that everyone chips in and helps cook so ML and I aren’t stuck cooking everything. It turned out to be a nice, relaxing even with family. And of course, we ended the night with our family tradition of watching “Christmas Vacation” with Chevy Chase. Can’t get any better than that.

One thing I didn’t do this year was the 30 days of Thanksgiving. But everyday I am so reminded of things to be thankful for. The Lord has blessed me and my family so much that I am reminded to be thankful for more than just 30 days in November.

Happy December!

2011-12-02T15:25:00.001-07:00

Awww, I love the holidays. There were so many times I thought to blog during November and I just never got to it. We had a great Thanksgiving and loved the fall season. And now I am ready for Christmas! The house is 95% decorated and we are getting scheduled with tons of festive, Christmasy stuff.

I have some fun events planned to get out and share with others and love on others during this Christmas season so stay tuned…

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-25T07:08:00.000-07:00

"Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done."

Psalm 105:1

Saturday Random Play

2011-11-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

I love listening to my girls play. They are so creative and hilarious with some of the stuff they come up with. Their favorite things to play are drive-thru (now that it is cool enough they play through the open window), dentist, beauty pageant, and now that I am in physical therapy, they play physical therapists.

Some of the things they come up with you now are things they hear from us as parents. Miss G and Little Miss A were playing Barbie’s and this is what I heard:

G: Let’s go on a ride (in the Barbie car).

A: Ok, I want to sit up front.

G: No, You and your husband sit in the backseat and me and my husband will sit in the front. That way we can each have some quality time with our husbands.

We were also talking in the car the other day and Miss E tells me that she doesn’t want to marry a tall man (because she is going to be short). And Little Miss A blurts out “I want a husband that will carry my boxes!”

Boy, I just love these 3 girls the Lord has brought me!

Thanksgiving vs. Christmas

2011-11-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love Thanksgiving. I get upset when so many people and stores forget Thanksgiving and go straight to Christmas. We have so much to be thankful for and it’s like people just forget all about it. It’s sad that we need to force ourselves to remember to be thankful for stuff and even then people want to pass over this day/month. (ok, off my soap box.)

Well, with that said, I messed up this month. We accidentally as a family (including ML) stumbled upon the Christmas Hallmark channel this weekend. We are now ALL addicted. Every weekend from now on they are playing Christmas movies. So I am torn because I am now in the mood for Christmas. I still want Thanksgiving, but I kinda want to put my tree up. (some one told me about a thanksgiving tree, maybe I will try that next year.)

I know, I know, I am a hypocrite this year. I feel so bad. Why is there not more time between Thanksgiving and Christmas????? Then we could celebrate Christmas longer and wouldn’t be on a time crunch to put everything up in a few days right after Thanksgiving. Maybe we should start a Nationwide petition to move Thanksgiving to earlier in November. Anyone with me???

Shift in Alliances

2011-11-07T17:34:00.000-07:00

There has been a shift in alliances in our house. For years it has been, Miss E and Miss G that have always been together non-stop, ganging up against Little Miss A. They shared the room, they wore the same outfits, watched the same shows, etc.

Well, now the shift has changed and Miss G and Little Miss A are best of friends. Since Miss G is in the middle, she can fit in with the older kids and the younger. So she is so friendly and willing to watch "baby" shows with Little Miss E. The clothes are moving down children, so now Miss G and Little Miss A have matching outfits. They now share rooms and Miss E has her own. They like to play with each other and keep Miss E out of their games.

It's just so interesting to see how the relationships of sisters work. And I know there will be another shift again at some point. I just love that they still play with each other and care for each other (for the most part). May they grow up staying close to each other.

Fibro Friday: PT Test Results

2011-10-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I had a few takers on my little experiment. Thanks for all who tried it out. Most people that tried it just ended up standing there and nothing happened. For me, in less than 7 seconds I was over like a ton of bricks. My physical therapist had to catch me. And when I showed my family and my oldest, she just kept saying “do it again!” She thought it was so funny.

So what does it all mean???? It has to do with your sense of balance and your core strength. Now, I have always known that my equilibrium has been off and my core strength is horrible. Interestingly, my therapist also asked about ear infections and sinus infections growing up and said that would affect my inner balance also. And in these last few weeks I have actually been fighting a sinus infection. So that’s what the test explains. My therapist also said the more you do it the better you would become at it. So guess I’ll have to keep practicing.

R.I.P. Grandpa DiVito

2011-10-22T18:37:00.001-07:00

Dominic Charles “Pop” DiVito.

4/17/1923 – 10/21/2011

Father of Frank, Robert and Margaret (McGuire)

Husband of Polly

DiVito, Dominic Charles 88, of Surprise AZ went peacefully to the Lord on Friday, October 21, 2011. He was born on April 17, 1923 in Boston, MA to Italian Immigrant parents Antonio Vincente DiVito and Margaret Cenci. He was a Veteran of the WWII Army Air Corp and retired as a Civil Service employee from Luke Air Force Base in April of 1985. He was a Third Degree Mason and a member of Chalcedony Lodge #6 F. & A.M. in Holbrook, AZ for over 50 years. Dominic is survived by his wife of 66 years, Polly; his sons Frank (wife Dixie) and Robert (wife Cathey); daughter Margaret McGuire (husband Mike); half brother Anthony DiVito of York Harbor, ME; 11 grandchildren, Beckey Clow, Claire DiVito, Daniel DiVito, Sarah DiVito, Tim DiVito, Kara Gentry, Erin Holland, Conlin McGuire, Shauna Ross, Mike Stone, & Nathan Stone; and 16 great grandchildren. His favorite term of endearment to us all was "Dopey Kiddo" which will forever remain in our hearts. His hobbies were to tinker in his shed and collect old or rare reference books. We kindly appreciate and thank Hospice of the Valley for all their help and support during his last days. In lieu of flowers we ask for donations to be made in Dominic's memory to Hospice of the Valley, 1510 E. Flower St., Phoenix, AZ. 85014.

PT Test

2011-10-15T13:07:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I started PT (physical therapy) for the 2nd time (different doctor, new insurance). It’s to deal with my major back and leg pain I have going on and my newly diagnosed bulging disk. Just by the little stretching my PT therapist did with me, I feel an improvement already. But what I was so interested in was this little test he gave me.

As soon as I came home, I started asking everyone to try it to see what their response was to it. So…I want you to try it. Here’s what you do - BEWARE DO THIS NEXT TO SOMEONE OR NEXT TO YOUR BED/COUCH…I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INJURIES INCURRED WHILE TRYING THIS OUT---YOU ARE FOREWARNED!!!!

1. Put your feet together and stand straight up

2. Cross your arms over your shoulders and put your elbows up a little

3. Get ready to start counting by seconds

4. Clothes your eyes

So what happened? Anything? Did you fall over? How fast did you fall over? How long did it take for you to fall over? Or were you able to just stand there with no problem? I want to know how other people responded. The only problem is I forgot to ask what all it means LOL. I think it has to do with my equilibrium, which I have always known was off, but I will ask when I go next week. But PLEASE let me know your results. I am just SO curious.

Make-up: Part 1

2011-10-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

I am honestly not that vain of a person (minus the gray hair part). Do I go out of the house without make-up on? Yes. Do I pull my hair up and just go run errands? Yes. I can be seen in my worst and have been seen in my worst. But for your average, feeling well day I choose to get all dressed and ready before I leave the house. I choose this for me!

I was recently at a Mary Kay party where a friend’s friend was talking about her everyday appearance. How she drops off the kids at school in pj’s with no bra, rarely ever wears make-up, and doesn’t care what outfits she wears when she is out and about (I told her she needed Stacy and Clinton from “What Not To Wear”).

This conversation really made me think. As women, I think a lot of us get to the point where we just don’t take care of ourselves. We just let ourselves go. Where the same things around the house, never do our hair or make-up. We are just stuck in “mommy life.” It was after my 3rd child that I started slowly with my hair. I was done with the ponytail look, everyday, morning and night. So I made the step and went for a cute hairstyle. And I have kept it ever since. And now with the weight loss, I had decided that enough was enough. I am taking charge of my own body.

So mommies it’s time to take charge! Take charge of your beauty and your life. It will make you feel better, it can even improve your marriage. But it’s time. Do it for yourself. You deserve it and you owe it to yourselves and to God.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NASB)

^“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.”

Mommy Confession

2011-10-04T16:00:00.001-07:00

Hello, my name is Beckey and I have gray hairs. See that, plural, I have multiple gray hairs. And I am depressed….well, not in a real depression sort of way (I know life could be way worse). Out of everything I have received from genetics, I tend to receive more from my dads side. EXCEPT THIS!!!! This comes from my moms side, who started graying by early 40. My dad is the one who finally started getting gray in his 60’s. So why did I not get this ONE trait from my dad????

I really wonder if it has to do with all of the heavy meds I have been taking over the past 8-9 months. But this stinks, and it is only on one side of my head (the same side as my mom). I probably notice it more than anyone, but I know other people have noticed it. I am 33 and NOT ready for gray! so it is time to do something about it. I want to feel better about myself and I want to feel as young as I really am. This week I will be experimenting so I’ll see if I come up with something I like (don’t worry, professionals are involved).

Miss A. Funnies

2011-09-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

Miss A. is definitely the 3rd child. She comes up with the funniest things and they just blurt out of her mouth. Here are a few to add to the list:

hanitizer = sanitizer

cockcorn = popcorn

The phone rang the other morning and it was a solicitor so I didn’t answer it. And Miss A. says, “what if it’s the mental institution?” Who knows where she got that from.

Fibro Friday: Doctors in My Life

2011-09-16T16:26:00.001-07:00

I have been thinking lately of all the doctors in my life and boy are there a lot of them. Most weeks I have at least 1 doctor appointment. At least 1 or 2 weeks a month I have 3 doctors appointments in that week. And I have needed to make appointment for my girls, but just haven’t had any time. Besides my primary and girly-doctor, I see a Pain Specialist, Sleep Specialist, Rheumatologist, Neurologist, and Breast Surgeon. Oh, and I just got cleared by my Endocrinologist and Dermatologist and I haven’t seen an Allergist in a while.

Thank the Lord for great insurance and time to go to all these doctors.

Tankini Time

2011-09-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I wore a Tankini for the first time, well… since our honeymoon. I just can’t believe it. Now this one still has a little skirt on it, but nothing like the "dress" suits I have been wearing for the last however many years. A friend gave it to me probably 2 years ago and there is has sat in my drawer. But not anymore. I am rockin’ it on my body now .

September is Here, Where is Fall?

2011-09-07T08:00:00.001-07:00

I love Arizona and the people that are here, but this August has been horrible. I thought we were gone most of July to beat the heat, but it returned in vengeance the past few weeks. And now September is here, but Fall is no where in sight.
The beginning of September is usually when I start decorating for Fall. So technically I would start now, but I just don’t know if I can bring myself to do it. It is just too d%@# HOTTTT!!!! Fall is my time of year and I like to get a good 3 months of decorations in, but not sure what’s going to happen this year. Let’s hope and pray for cooler weather soon and that I have the energy to decorate when it’s time.
So even though I haven’t decorated my house for Fall, my blog will begin the makeover.

Happy Labor Day!

2011-09-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Labor Day!!! May you take the day and spend it with the ones you love creating great memories and long lasting relationships.

Fibro Friday: In a Nut Shell

2011-09-02T20:10:00.001-07:00

So here was my week in a nut shell….way to busy. I am shocked that I am even standing this Friday night. I had too many doctors appointments (thank goodness my appointment today was rescheduled by the doctor until next week), sort of an urgent ultrasound done to rule out a blood clot in my right calf (still have to figure out why it’s swollen), grocery shopping, menu planning, running errands for ML, ML starting a new job, ML being gone 3 nights out of this week and the first week of me doing all drop off and pick up for the girls at school.

I am so tired and wiped out. And super thankful that tomorrow is Saturday and that this is a 3 day weekend. I’m totally not looking forward to my body catching up with me. But I am hoping there is some help on the horizon for me and my excessive daytime sleepiness. And just thankful I made it through this week.

In Heaven

2011-08-28T17:36:00.001-07:00

Our girls are in heaven….we have finally succumb to the pressure. They now have their own cell phones, play cell phones that is. We had enough old phones to give each of them one to play with and they couldn’t be more thrilled. There still learning how it works because they still think they should be able to text each other lol. But for now they are having fun taking pictures and pretend calling people. Miss E’s phone has some games on it so that is making her feel even more special as the oldest. Hopefully these will satisfy them for a while since it will be yearrrssss before they get any real ones.

Kid Funny: With Jesus

2011-08-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

Little Miss A is obsessed with calling people on the phone. All day long she asks me “who can I call?” Over the summer her favorite has been Grandma/my mom, but now Grandma is working so we have been having to find other people who are home or not in school.

But the funny thing is that my mom and dad have a nice message on their voicemail that says “…Have a great day in Jesus!” So if Miss A happens to call and get the voicemail, she tell us that they can’t talk because they are “with Jesus!” LOL

And she just hasn’t quite figured out the whole leaving a message thing, but it’s so funny listening to her try. As soon as she hears the beep she will say “call Grandma.” But it is a command, like she is giving her cell phone a voice command to call someone.

Gotta love my Miss A.

Mystery Solved!

2011-08-22T09:19:00.001-07:00

I’ve solved a mystery this early (well, not that early) Monday morning. For the past 3 years, except this summer, we have gone on a family vaca to Cali with the in-laws. And every year while we are there I get this annoying itch. It’s like a rash, though you can’t really see anything. It attaches itself where ever it wants and can last for months (even when we return to AZ). One year it was on my butt and arms, another on the front of my legs, and the last was on my neck. I’ve gone to the doctors and they can’t figure it out (what a shocker).

But TADA!!!! I did this morning…we didn’t go to Cali this summer and I didn’t get the rash. Soooo what that must mean is I am some how allergic to the sea air? The one year it was the worst we stayed directly across from the beach and the other two years we were an hour outside San Diego. Now I have gone to Bakersfield with no problem (there’s probably a joke in there somewhere). So it’s gotta be the salt in the air???

Just a guess here, but it’s the only thing that makes sense. And since I love the beach so much, I guess I will just have to put up with the rash. Oh, how I wish I was at the beach right now.

June 2010 (pre-weigh loss) :)

Mommy Confession: Matters of the Mouth

2011-08-15T08:00:00.029-07:00

So I have a confession/deep thoughts that have been plaguing me for quite some time, but more this last week. I really believe it is a problem for a lot, if not most women, the need to vent/talk through problems, etc. But the issue I have is how much to share? When to share? When not to share? I don’t want to gossip. Gossip is evil and can be so damaging and hurtful and so deceitful. It can sometimes seem that before you even know it, you are involved in it.

I have had a few instances this summer (all completely not related) and one a complete brain-fart of a situation. As in brain-fart, I mean that I had shared a piece of information and it wasn’t until ML and I were in bed that night and I remembered that the friend didn’t want that piece of information shared yet. It was truly an honest mistake, not done out of harm or malice. It honestly, completely slipped my mind. (Luckily it was something that wasn’t earth shattering and my friend accepted my apology and I had done no damage.)

***So what did I learn: I really need to think before I speak and remember important pieces to conversations.

Secondly, is the need to vent, clear your head of all the thoughts swarming around. Who do you vent to? Who can you trust? Should we learn to not vent and find a way to just deal with things so that we don’t risk the chance of gossiping? Do we find someone completely removed from the situation that knows none of the people that can be a source of advice to talk to? I DON’T KNOW!!!

I do know what the Bible says about gossip:

“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man [or woman] who talks too much” (Proverbs 20:19).

It just confuses me, not the bible, the being able to speak and get advice without sharing to much and to whom to share to. I know that I am not sharing information to harm or build myself up, I just need someone to talk to, to help me through the situation.

***So what have I learned…I’m still confused, but I'll be ok. I’d like to say that I am just not going to talk to anyone anymore. But I doubt that will be very realistic. I have such a heart to be true and honest to everyone and not hurt anyone. So at this point what do I do??? Continue talking and praying to God asking for clarity and guidance and direction. Follow God's word to best of my ability on what it teaches about gossip. And when I mess up, confess it, ask for forgiveness and continue on with becoming more like Jesus. And also, think before I speak and choose my words carefully.

I think we all need to be reminded of this from time to time, we are not perfect, I am not perfect. I am just thankful for God's grace and mercy for when I do mess up.

Flagstaff Fun!

2011-08-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

This July we went and spent almost 3 weeks with my in-laws at their cabin in Munds Park. We have spent about 8 days with them in the past and weren’t sure how 18 days would go. But they were awesome. We had tons of fun. The older girls participated in a drama camp that ended with them doing a performance of Grease.

It was also awesome because it rained almost everyday we were there and reached about 79 degrees each day. This was great for my Fibro and made it so hard to come home.

We did our annual 4th of July Parade Celebration up there and added a breakfast this year.

The Girls got to go on their first ride in the forest in Rhino’s. They absolutely loved it and loved riding in Poppy’s golf cart. ML even taught Miss E. to drive the golf cart.

We just had fun playing and relaxing.

We all kept feeling the windows as we drove down the mountain not looking forward to the heat that was about to slap us in the face. I think that staying in the cool pines for July should become our family tradition.

Kid Funny

2011-08-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

This July the two older girls participated in a drama camp and production of Greese (more to come on that later). Well one of the songs was of course the Hand Jive. And Little A. has been going around the house since singing the song, loudly. The only problem is that she changed the words. So where there should be the word "plow" she inserted our last name "Clow."

"When I was three, I pushed a Clow"

Heat, Heat, Go Away

2011-08-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

Heat, heat, please go away, your killing my energy and wiping me out.

I love Arizona and really don't think I could stand the weather anywhere else. And the heat this summer has actually been pretty mild, but with Fibro it really doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter if you stay inside or out. I am still wiped out. Now when I say wiped, know one can really understand what that really means. I mean I'm talking not being able to get out of bed until 9 or 10 every morning (being full blown asleep until this time). ~~Just having short bursts of energy to get things done~~, well basically having no energy to get anything done.

I just have to thank the Lord that my girls have become so well adjusted to my illness. They play, entertain, watch tv, make their own breakfast, etc. all on their own. I try to look at it positively and think that I am just raising independent daughters.

On the Outs!

2011-06-20T22:10:00.001-07:00

I’m not the favorite, boo hoo hoo. Little Miss A. has made it clear to me the last couple days by telling me that

“Daddy and Grandma are my favorite, but not you!”

And then she also told me that…

“Daddy and Grandma are IN and you are NOT!”

But do you think this has changed her wanting/needing me anymore???? That would be a big fat NO!!! Good thing Miss A. is such a cute thing and I love her so much.

See Ya!

2011-06-08T08:00:00.001-07:00

Well, I don’t wanna toot my own horn, but I just had to share some pictures with you. I have been on a weight loss journey and I am over half way to my goal. What surprised me the other day was when I saw a picture of myself back at Thanksgiving compared to a picture just taken at Miss A’s b-day party. I was pretty SHOCKED!!!!! I mean, like really shocked. And then I got excited and wanted to share it with the whole world.
The other thing that has really surprised me is this…not sure if you watch Biggest Loser, but at some point they always have them “put the weight back on”. Some how they do a challenge where they put all of the weight they have lost back on. Well, anyways, I have just about hit 40 lbs., (YES I said 40 LBS), and it hit me that I have lost my Miss A in weight. I’ve lost an entire 4 year old in weight!!! And to carry her (which is so terribly hard because of the FM anyways) seems so crazy to think that I was carrying that around on my own body and just didn’t seem to care. But NOT ANYMORE!!! I am down a 4 year old and depending upon where my goal weight will end (it’s so hard to know since my body has now had 3 children ). I might to almost lose another 4 year old. I am up for the challenge and won’t stop until I am done.

Before

Middle

My Baby is 4!

2011-06-02T19:02:00.002-07:00

Wow, has time flown by. Felt like just yesterday she was a baby and I was still breastfeeding, lately she has had the attitude of a 2 year old so that hasn’t been helping. I still have one more year home with my “little love” before the big K. I hope to make it a meaningful and memorable one since she is the last of the babies.

This year a pool party was in order (since we now have 3 community pools in our new neighborhood). It was a fun day, well week of celebrating and she is happy that she is finally 4. We love you Baby Girl, you bring so much joy and laughter to our lives we couldn’t imagine life without you.

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

It's Mother's Day weekend and it's been forever since I've blogged. Not sure where the time has gone...been dealing with fatigue and my husband's illness. I have some great idea for blog topics but just seem to tired to blog.

We are having my mom and grandma over today for dinner. It should be a low-key dinner (as my family calls it). My parents are buying the main dish and we just fill in with the rest. ML mopped our floor which was awesome and helped so much and I love that the 2 older girls are old enough to clean the bathroom and help tidy. Makes cleaning up the house so much easier. Of course, I could really use a nap right now. I might actually be able to go squeeze one in before everyone comes.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and all my mommy friends have a great Mother's Day! I hope you are pampered and taken care of at least for a little bit.

According to A.

2011-04-27T20:38:00.001-07:00

According to my Little Miss A.,

“Jesus tells us to eat candy in bed!”

Can’t Put My Finger On It

2011-04-14T15:31:00.001-07:00

Do you ever get a feeling that something is missing? Or you should be doing something and your not? Or you are wanting something, but you can’t figure out what? Well, I am there. I just can’t put my finger on it. I feel like I am forgetting something and I just don’t know what it is.

But then it’s also like I am bored. Bored of where life is and wanting a change. Maybe I am just ready for school to be over and summer to begin. I don’t know…like I said, I can’t put my finger on it.

Funeral First

2011-04-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

As parents we are faced with so many decisions. Should we do this with our kids or that? Should we let them experience a certain event or not? What is the right thing to do?

We were faced with this when our friend passed away. Were we going to take the girls to her funeral? When is the right time to expose them to this? How much is too much? So many questions that you are never taught in childbirth classes. We have always been open and honest with our girls about life and death and we remained so with this situation.

Through some discussion we decided that it was the right time for the girls to experience a funeral. (The husband also helped make the decision because he said “now you are bringing the girl, right"?) We did clarify if it was going to be an open or closed casket which was also a deciding factor (in this case it was closed).

Thankfully we had a week to prepare the girls and had many opportunities for discussions where they asked tons of great questions. We walked them through everything that would happen that day and what different things meant. We also explained what things meant to our family and our relationship with Jesus Christ.

The girls ended up doing great and really learned a lot going through this process. They each took in what they could for their age and mental ability. We were able to share and teach them so much, it’s just sad that it was due to the loss of our friend. I think that ML and I made the right decision to involve them and that it brought the girls closer to us and a greater understanding of love and life.

Fibro Friday: Court Update

2011-04-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I got some great news…..the judge approved my court case. That means I WOONNNN!!!!!!! After an almost 2 year long, tiring battle, I finally have justice on my disability case.

It was a little weird that I first got the call from social security that I had won and even now that I have received the judgment from the judge still haven’t heard from my lawyer. I’m afraid that it’s because my case wasn’t 100% successful when you look at my case overall. But for us, any win was a win. The ideal was for the judge to find me disabled back to 2001. Unfortunately, the judge only found me disabled back to 2009. But like I said, for us a win is a win.

It means a lot to hear someone of huge authority say that yes, I am disabled and that I cannot work in the working world. It is now officially on paper that I can’t do it. I do not have enough energy to function in the work place. I am in too much pain to be able to work. Overall, I just can’t do it.

And the first thing I said was waaaa hooo and Praise the Lord!!!!! It has been 10 years of suffering with FM, but honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. This is who God made me to be and I have accepted it. The Lord is providing a way of easing our financial stress and it takes a huge load off of our chests. It has been a long time in the making, but I know that it comes perfectly in the Lord’s timing.

Pinky Swear

2011-04-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

My poor Miss G. broke her pinky finger at school. It’s actually a cute story. Her best friend Ryley and she were playing “horses” at lunch recess. They went to pinky swear that they would always play with each other, they jumped up and some how her pinky came down and hit her friends elbow.

After it happened, she didn’t even cry. She went to a friend who is an aide at the school and whispered that she had bent her finger and asked to go to the office for ice. She told her teacher that her finger hurt, but never a tear. When she got to the car, she said “mommy, I hurt my finger” and put the finger in front of me. And of course I said “HOLY COW G., what happened?” Her poor finger was swollen twice the normal size and completely black and blue. We were going to just give it a day or so before we took her to the doctor, but ended up googling broken fingers and decided to take her to urgent care.

As soon as the doctor saw it he knew it was broken. But it couldn’t be a normal break, it involves the growth plate so off to the orthopedist we had to go. She will have to have it splinted for a total of 4 weeks, but thank the Lord no surgery. She is being such a trooper and doing great with the splint. She is only having a little pain here and there. Unfortunately for her teacher, her handwriting has been affected, but at least that’s temporary.

Onederland

2011-04-04T15:46:00.000-07:00

It has finally happened. It’s been 10 years since I’ve been there. But I have finally made it back to Onederland. Yes, I have done it….I am back in the 100’s for my weight!!!!!! Waaaaa hoooooo and yay for me!!!!! I am totally ecstatic. It has been a lot of work and a lot of commitment, but I have been doing it.
So far to date I have lost 28.8 pounds over 10% of my weight loss goal, I am down about a size and a half in my pants, lost over 2 inches (haven’t measured in a while) in my waist. I AM DOING IT!!!!!! I have a new resolve from the last time I did WW online. It has been a lifetime battle and I want it over. I am 100% committed this time to getting it all off and keeping it off.

So stay tuned………

Goodbye Shauna

2011-04-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

Spring break in March was a long, hard week. On Thursday, March 10th we lost a friend to cancer. She was a young, 30 year old wife and mother to an almost 3 year old and 5 month old little boys.

Shauna fought a good fight and gave God the praise and glory through the entire thing. Up until the end she believed that the Lord was going to cure her of this horrible disease. The end came fast and sudden to everyone. When she went into the ER on that Tuesday no one thought she wouldn’t be coming home.

ML and I have a great last memory of her that will always be in our hearts. And her hubby and her boys will forever be in our lives. We know without a doubt that God put this family in our lives for a reason and we are here to be used as God sees fit.

Shauna we are all so thankful that you are out of pain and suffering. We ALL know without a doubt that you are up in heaven with our Lord and Savior praising Him with the angels. All we can say is that we will see you one day. We still wish you were here on earth, but know that you are truly somewhere even better.

Amazing Day

2011-04-01T22:04:00.001-07:00

There was no April Fools going on today in our house. The most awesome, Praise the Lord moment was that our middle, Miss G. asked Jesus to come into her heart tonight. We finally found our devotional book (lost with the move and out of habit) that we would read with the girls at dinner and have been reading it the past couple nights. And it lead to her wanting to ask Jesus into her heart.

She prayed the prayer inside her head (they have always been so scared to say it aloud) as she repeated after us. We are so proud of her and so happy that she has taken this step, now we just have our Little A. left. Thank you Lord that you have given us girls that have a heart for loving you!

Dear Blog

2011-03-31T14:45:00.002-07:00

Wow, so much has happened over these last few weeks and there has been no time to update you. So many lessons learned, teachable moments with the girls, exciting news, sad news. Hopefully, I will be able to share soon and get it all down in writing. Let’s hope I remember it all .

Love,
Fibromommyx3

Fibro Friday: Fibro Funny

2011-03-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

For some reason, my girls like to watch me go through my medicine bottles and pull out all of my night time meds. The other night as I am pulling them all out, the girls are counting them as I go. When I get to the end, I ask them how many are there. And the big whapping answer is 10! And then my Miss E. says “well that’s not that many!”

Not that many??? 10 pills just at bedtime? (No wonder I have to pee so much in the middle of the night .) And she thinks its “not that many.” Silly girl, if she only knew this wasn’t normal.

Birthday Girl

2011-03-22T09:26:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday to my now 7 year old. Oh, how the time has flown. I remember the day so clearly and you will always hold a special place in mommy’s heart. We will always have a special connection since we are both middle children, but I love you so much.

Thanks for being our G. Poo. You are a loving, kind, sweet little girl who is full of energy and has a wild, experimental spirit.

Kid Funny

2011-03-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Little A is the only kid I know that has dreams/nightmares about fighting her sisters. She will scream and cry that they are taking something of hers. Or scream out and say “Give me my bear” or something like that. It doesn’t seem like she gets tortured like that at all during the day.

That’s one thing I would love to ask God about…how/why do our brains process things the way they do?

Sore Nose

2011-03-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

Ugghh, my nose has been soooo sore. I was putting Little A to bed last week and by accident the back of her head slammed into my nose. It hit me hard on my glasses and shoved them in on one side of my nose. I was shocked it didn’t start bleeding. And I was shocked I didn’t wake up with a black eye. And now days later, I am still in a lot of pain.

My nose is throbbing. It is causing me headaches. Anytime I blow my nose or adjust my glasses it hurts. It’s just a nose, who knew that it could hurt so bad. I must have a deep bruise or something. I just hope this goes away soon, because I am done with it affecting my life.

And yes, I know it could be worse. I am thankful it is only my nose and nothing else. I just wanted to share one of the hazards of being a mom .

New Do

2011-03-07T08:57:00.002-07:00

If you are in need of an Up-Do for a special occasion, do I have the hair dresser for you. She is a little young (almost 4), but oh so talented. Here is a picture of her latest work…call to schedule your next appointment.
Front

Back

Health Phobia

2011-03-05T14:20:00.000-07:00

What am I gonna do with My Miss E? She is my oldest, the one who has had probably the most medical issues out of all 3 girls (which really hasn’t been a lot). She is the only one who has had to have surgery (a pretty traumatic one at age 2 1/2) and she has all the allergies. Besides her peanut and tree nut allergies, we just found out she is allergic to most trees, weeds, grasses,etc. She will be dealing with allergies from Spring to Fall.

And I think all of this has led to her being completely freaked out and scared of any little pain that she experiences. Any pain she gets sends her into a panic. She wants to know if me or ML have ever experienced a pain like it. What happened to us when we had that pain? She wants to know what could be causing the pain? Does she need to go to the hospital/doctor? When will the pain go away?

She gets short of breath and starts to cry and becomes extremely upset. We just don’t know why she is like this. She was young at the age of surgery and probably really doesn’t remember it, but somewhere along the way it has made an impression in her brain. It has traumatized her forever.

She is by definition a Hypochondriac. I googled it and the definition completely matched her even at this young age of 9. Not sure how we are going to handle this. I have talked with her Pediatrician and we are going to just monitor it for right now. But if it starts to get worse, we will need to consult a Psychiatrist.

So right now we are just going to be gentle with her and love her through it. This is an anxiety disorder, which does run in our family, so we do need to keep an eye on it. Let's hope this is just a phase and she can just naturally grow out of it.

Kid Funny

2011-02-28T17:53:00.001-07:00

Miss G said that she has a rock she wants to show me that is “awesome!” It was a flat, shiny, dark green rock. When she showed it to me she asked me if it was a frog egg because her friend said it was.

Oh, the things kids come up with.

Random Thought

2011-02-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that cats sleep all day. Now I am totally a cat person. Always have been, always will be. But why is it that when I go to take a nap they have to come over to me and decide to take a bath on top of me? Come on, you get to sleep uninterrupted, let me get in my cat nap too.

Author Am I?

2011-02-24T09:13:00.002-07:00

So I have really been thinking…I want to write a book. The book would be about mental illness in the Christian community (which is totally needed, I’ll probably write a post on this another day). I have personal experience from myself extending down to several family members.

Here’s my dilemma… I don’t feel like I have the educational or mental background to write it. This is mainly due to the Fibro Fog. Yes, I have graduated from college, with a Psychology degree to boot. But can I recall any of it??? NO!!! Yes, I have been a stay-at-home mom for almost 10 years so I haven’t had to use my brain like that.

But with the Fibro Fog, I can’t even remember simple words like table, chair, book, etc. So what is a girl with Fibro to do??? Well, I guess I better still try. My only reason for writing the book is to help people. There is such a huge need for help and understanding for people with mental illness (from depression to bipolar). This goes for the regular community down to the Christian community to which I am really involved.

So I guess I will start writing. Who knows how long it will take. Years I am guessing, but I’ll see how the Lord leads with it and see what happens. Wish me luck and good memory recall!

Recommendation: Stock Up Time!

2011-02-18T12:07:00.003-07:00

I was at Target the other day and saw that they had a lot of there paper products on clearance. And with 2 birthdays coming up in March and May, I figured I better buy their birthday plates and napkins now. Especially since they were on 30% clearance, how could I pass that up. I usually wait for stuff to go on more clearance at this store, but there was not a big enough selection to wait for that.

Plates and napkins always seem to be one of those last minute things that always gets forgotten. And then you are running to whatever store is closest and buying whatever they have. Target did have several to choose from, which was nice and I choose to not go with the kid themed stuff (though that was on clearance too).

I even thought ahead to see if I had anything else coming up. I remembered that I am hosting Bunco next month so I bought supplies for that. I think I might even go back and buy for my daughters b-day in September.

Oh, and another thing…go and stock up on Valentine’s stuff for next year. Our Target had tons of stuff. I already got some at 50% off, but am waiting for the 75% for the actual v-day cards.

Happy Shopping!

I Need You

2011-02-17T14:23:00.001-07:00

“On average, a preschooler requires mom's attention once every 4 minutes or 210 times a day” (MOPS)

Wow, does this saying ring so true in my life. Every day, all day long I hear “Mom I need you!” Little A has such a way of saying this. I’m surprised I don’t hear it in my sleep.

Now I know this is totally part of a preschooler’s life, but I think she over uses just a tad bit. Especially since there are times when she is completely capable of walking to me and asking for help versus yelling from her room and making me walk to her.

Something else that Little A has been doing is telling me that she can’t walk because her leg hurts. She’ll get up in the morning and ask me to carry her because she can’t walk. She wants me to carry her to bed because her leg walks. She wants to be carried to the dinner table because her leg hurts. Little stinker. I wonder if she gets it because she hears me talk about my limitations. Lately I have been telling her I (well, I guess more like threatening) I will have to take her to the doctor if her leg keeps hurting and that pretty much stops it.

I know one day I will long for the day when I would hear “Mom I need you.” But there are days now when I definitely wish I heard it a lot less.

Me and ML

2011-02-14T21:29:00.001-07:00

        What can I say, I am so in love with him!

Third Nipple

2011-02-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, my third nipple (as my daughter calls it) is back, it’s actually another lesion. I went to my Rheumatologist to finally start treament for my (what they are now calling) breast disease on Tuesday and it wasn’t there. And as of Tuesday night it was already appearing. I already had an appointment scheduled Wednesday with my breast surgeon so I had her check it out and she wanted me to go see my rheuma (my new shortened word) right away since I had just started this heavy treatment (more on that later). So I was able to get back into him on Friday and his first comment was “yea, that’s what granulomatous is!”
But my biggest concern in going back to him was the fact that he originally couldn’t treat if I had any active lesions. And since we had just started treatment and now one was starting I was scared we would have to stop treatment. Thank the Lord I don’t have to. He said that at least when I started it (for one dose) that I had no lesions and as of now it hasn’t “broken open” so we are good. And if we had to stop treatment for every time I got one, we would never be able to treat me.
Treatment right now will consist of a low dose of Prednisone/steroids for six weeks until the main drug kicks in. (Though I am on a heavy dose to try and thwart the lesion but only for 6 days.) And the other drug, surprisingly, it’s main use is for people who have received kidney transplants and it is used so there bodies don’t reject the kidney.
I don’t know how long I will have to be on that med. I did ask the doctor and he said it may be the rest of my life. So now along with the fibro I now have this stupid breast disease. As I have said before, I just want my boobies back.
Oh well, I know things could be so much worse and the Lord will only give me as much as I am able to handle.

Sunday Reflection

2011-01-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

My heart is just so burdened right now. I just can’t explain it. I know so many people that are suffering and going through so many hard, life threatening medical issues right now. My heart just aches for them and their close family members. I just don’t know what to do. So I have really tried to commit myself to pray. I am trying to pray as often as I think of them. And it’s definitely why I keep the attitude that my situation could be so much worse.
The Lord is the only one who knows what each of these people need in there specific situations. And I pray that they would each find the strength to keep relying on Him.

For I have given rest to the weary and joy to the sorrowing." Jeremiah 31:25

Comfort

2011-01-29T09:31:00.002-07:00

***Ok, I am a few days back logged, so I will try and catch up.****

I receive the K-Love verse of the day every morning. And a few days after the court hearing I received the following verse. It gave me some comfort and hope that the Lord is still working in my case.

O Lord, hear my plea for justice. Listen to my cry for help. Pay attention to my prayer, for it comes from honest lips. Psalm 17:1

My prayers were always for justice and that I would be as honest as I could possibly be. Thanks Lord for the encouragement.

Fibro Friday: Court Update

2011-01-22T11:12:00.001-07:00

Yes, I know it's Saturday, but I was too tired yesterday to update the blog.

Thursday went very well. The judge was very friendly and cordial. He made me feel comfortable and I wasn’t barely nervous. They had a occupational witness that the court brought in and he was very friendly and smiled which was nice too. The hearing was supposed to last 30-45 minutes and we ended up being in there for an hour. I was asked a lot of questions about medications I am on, past medications and their effectiveness, past job experiences, current daily life, current pain, etc.

The judge was very throughout with his questions. Then my lawyer was allowed to ask me some questions too.

When it was all said and done, the judge said that there was “significant evidence” that I was disabled. The occupational expert testified that I would not be able to function in the working world. We (my lawyer, hubby, and I)really believe that the judge would have ruled in my favor at that time if he could.

The only issue (which we knew going in) was that there is a specific date that they have to go back and prove disability on (has to do with 5 years after the last date I actually worked). And the judge didn’t feel that there was enough evidence surrounding that date. BUT he is giving my lawyer 30 days to come up with a brief outlining more supporting evidence for that date in question. If we can get that date in question taken care of, my lawyer feels that we should be good.

We went into the day wrapped in prayer and completely felt it. We greatly appreciate all those who were praying. It made such a difference. We are continuing to pray that we can get the rest of the evidence that we need and that a doctor of mine will cooperate.

All in all it was a great day and things couldn’t have turned out any better. We are still fighting the battle, but the end it way closer than it ever has been. The judge then asked the occupational expert some questions about my work ability back then and my work ability currently.

Big Day

2011-01-20T07:00:00.001-07:00

Today is a big, important day for me, my family, and my Fibromyalgia. It’s a day to go prove myself in court and hope and pray that they find in favor of me. Find in favor that I am disabled enough not to be able to work.
I already know deep down that I am disabled and that I am not able to work and I really don’t need a judge to give me the approval for me to finally believe it. What I do need is for a judge to agree to let me get paid for it.
I/me and ML are going into this day wrapped in prayer. We fully believe that God is in complete control. We trust that whatever the outcome is that He has orchestrated it. We have prayed that it would be God’s will that my disability be approved. We have prayed that God have favor on us and provide this for our family. We have prayed that we receive an immediate answer and do not have to wait for the judge to make a decision.
I feel calm and not nervous. I do want to get it over with, but I am ready and at peace.
So thank you to all who are praying. The prayers are so greatly appreciated. Here’s hoping to a great, successful day tomorrow.

Kid Funny: Boy Crush

2011-01-07T08:00:00.001-07:00

You are probably going to see a lot of these coming up. I want to post some cute or funny things my girls have been saying before I forget them. So enjoy!

My Miss G went with ML and I to a wedding party for my brother and his new bride that my mom and dad were throwing. During the party, one of my brother's friends befriended Miss G and let her hang out with him all night. He was so sweet to her and was just great with her.

So just the other day Miss G asks me: "Mommy, when will I see that boy that I played with at T and N's party?" And I responded with "I'm not sure." She then turns to her bigger sister and tells her the this guys was "her boy for the night."

I think she has had her first guy crush. He is a super nice guy, just too bad there is such a ginormous age difference.

Boob Update

2011-01-06T15:35:00.000-07:00

All I can say is "Darn Boob!" The left side is flaring really bad right now. When it flares it starts affecting the arm that is on the same side and slowly moves to the other arm and then my whole torso. It becomes so bad it's hurts to walk or move. Last time this happened they were able to put me on steroids to make the inflamation go down, but not this time. I still have a lesion that hasn't healed (from the Granulomatous Mastitis) and as long as I have it they can't use the steroids, there is too big of risk for infection. I am hoping in the next week it will be healed enough that they can get me started on it to get this boob back to pain free and back to normal size.

When oh when will this stupid infection leave my body?

Kid Funny: Alphabet

2011-01-04T11:06:00.002-07:00

Little A's alphabet song:

"....h, i, k, k, l, m, n, o, q,......"

And she sings it as loud as she can and is proud of it!

Happy New Year

2011-01-01T18:20:00.001-07:00

Happy 2011!!!!

Wow, I can't believe it's 2011! I am glad 2010 is over. It was a tough, hard, tiring, stressful, taxing year and I am glad it is over. I am hoping that 2011 brings a new start and new beginnings. Honestly, 2010 seemed as though it got as bad as it could have so 2011 has high hopes for me.

I pray that the Lord continues to see my family and I through. I pray He provides where it is needed. I pray He heals where healing is needed. I pray I get closer to Him in a way that I have never been. There is so much I am hopeful for and the only person who is going to help see us through is God.

So here's to a new year and new experiences!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas!

I hope you all remember the real reason for this CHRISTmas season.

Best Wedding Gift

2010-12-22T08:00:00.001-07:00

We have been married for 10 years and I still love and use our best wedding gift EVER!!!! Anyone guess what it is?????

If you guessed a Kitchen Aid Mixer then you won. ML and I put it on our gift registery as a "joke" knowing that pretty much no one in our families could afford the several hundred dollar item. Little did we know that a distant aunt and uncle on my side of the family would buy it for us.

And boy has it been the best gift ever. Especially now that I have FM it saves me so much work. I can't even mix up a simple batch of cookie dough because it hurts to much. Even a cake box mix hurts my wrists and hands. So to be able to just throw a bunch of ingredients into a bowl and turn it on is AWESOME!!!

Thank you to that aunt and uncle who bought it for us, you will never know how much that gift has meant to me.

Once Again, Not As I Had Planned

2010-12-21T16:38:00.000-07:00

Once again, I woke up this morning hoping to do some baking. And.....I took a nap. I even sent ML to the store to buy all the ingredients as I watched our friends kids (she had a funeral to go to). And as soon as the kids were gone I went to bed. At least I am a few days ahead of myself so it won't be too bad. I think I might have a little energy now (the nap really helped) to go start some baking now.

What makes my baking soooo easy...read my next post on the best wedding present ever.

Wrapping Presents

2010-12-19T08:53:00.001-07:00

All I can say is I LOVE wrapping presents. BUT there is a down side...by the end of it I am in massive pain. My back hurts so bad from bending over and sitting up that I can hardly move. My legs hurt from sitting on the ground that I can hardly walk. My arms hurt from holding and lifting things that they feel like they are gonna fall off.

So as much as I love to wrap I decided to let ML do it this year. We were going to spend a day doing it together and then he decided he wanted a date day and wrapped them the night before. At first I thought, but wait I wanted to help. But then I realized that even though I loved doing it all it does is cause me pain so why not just let him do it all. He was completely willing to so I let him.

I figured I had had years of wrapping presents before FM and now it's time I let someone else have some fun at it. I did go back a few days later and put some ribbon on the packages, but that was nothing and didn't cause too much pain. Thanks to ML the hard part is done and they look just as good as if I would have done them.

Moving Along

2010-12-16T14:05:00.000-07:00

Well, it's the 16th of December. I am done with Christmas shopping (maybe just one more gift for ML), I am on a new diet, it's a lovely rainy, cloudy day. What else could I ask for? The weather has finally cooled down (darn La Nina in Arizona). ML and I haven't cheated on this crazy diet (even though I am super hungry today and the only reason I want to cheat is because I am starving), but hey, in only a week I have lost 9.4 pounds. (And yes, I am usually not a diet fad person, but ML is in a weight crisis and needs to get it off fast so I really don't want to hear it :).

The girls have a half day tomorrow and then we are on Christmas break. I can't wait. Welcome the sleeping in, not having any plans, not having to make sure uniforms are washed and lunches are made.

And the best part of all....it will soon be JESUS' BIRTHDAY!!!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-07T09:26:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can't believe December is here. And before we know it, it will be 2011! Can you believe it???? I am almost all done Christmas shopping, just need to start wrapping now. I hope you have had little stress so far and take time to enjoy this month.

Happy December!

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T21:36:00.000-07:00

What a successful day! Thank you Lord for the strength and energy to get through (and the help of pain meds.) We had 18 people total in our new house. It was awesome. We had enough places for people to eat. The weather actually feels like it should, nice and chilly and breezy all day. I actually got to wear winter clothes and we had a fire in the back yard.

Thanks family for coming over and letting us host you. It was a blessing having you.

Randomness

2010-11-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

There are so many things running through my head right now. Like:

The fact that I hate (well, that may be too strong a word) that they play Christmas music before Thanksgiving. We have so many things to be thankful for, why should we as American's play down this day. We aren't thankful enough, so of course we need a day to remind us to be extra thankful.
We upped our cable for $4 more a month to get HD channels and I now have music stations. OH MY GOODNESS, how did I live without this before? Especially with the holidays coming, I can just put the TV on and listen away.
I am having so much fun decorating for Christmas. Now you may say "what?" over the fact that I just posted that I don't like the music until after Thanksgiving and now I am talking about decorating. But hold on. Since I didn't get to decorate for Fall this year and we just moved (have only been in almost 2 weeks), I am decorating for Christmas early. I change out my decor for the major holidays, so why decorate with my regular stuff when I am just going to take it all down for Christmas.
I just hate that my boob is starting to be in pain again. It just really hurts and I wish this stupid infection would just go away.
I have been having so much fun decorating the new house. I only have to find one more set of curtains for my kitchen nook area and I am done with curtains. I actually had some hang within the first 3 days that we moved. I was pretty proud of myself, and it is totally looking like home.

Ok, so I think that's all for now. Thanks for letting me share!

Recommend: Shutterfly

2010-11-19T21:48:00.000-07:00

So I am not a big scrapbooker or should I say I am NOT a scrapbooker. It's just too time consuming and I don't have enough time or space to do it. What I have fell in love with is digital scrapbooking. I love all things that I can do online with my pictures. I have made countless number of photo books, from 4x6 brag books to the big, hard cover books. I've done birthday parties, end of the year books, grandparent books, and vacation books. So this brings us to Shutterfly (there are many sites out there, I just seem to use a lot of Shutterfly). Right now they are giving bloggers an awesome deal on FREE Christmas cards. Now who doesn't like free, I know I LOVE FREE.

It's been almost 2 years since I have done picture Christmas cards, so I was excited to see this come up (it was something I had to cut out of the budget). They have some really cute designs. They also have cards that share the message of Christ which I really love. I like sending a message of God every year and so I like that they have this option.

Head on over to Shutterfly and check out all of there products. There are so many cute gift ideas, get all of your shopping done for the family in one stop.

· Christmas cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-cards
· holiday cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/holiday-cards
· Christmas photo cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery
· calendars to http://www.shutterfly.com/calendars/desk-calendars
· personalized mugs to http://www.shutterfly.com/photo-gifts/photo-mugs
· birthday cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/birthday-cards-stationery
- blank notebooks to http://www.shutterfly.com/photo-gifts/blank-notebooks

Thankfulness

2010-11-18T08:59:00.001-07:00

Today I am thankful for modern medicine. With all of my breast issues, my mother surviving breast cancer, and a friend getting a mastectomy this morning, where would we be without modern medicine. Technology and medicine changing almost every day, staying on top of all the illnesses and disease that plague our world.

Thank you Lord that I didn't have breast cancer, thank you for saving my mom, and thank you that my friend has a treatable cancer.

Thankfulness

2010-11-14T12:35:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for my wonderful hubby. He is another year older and that means another year I got to spend with him. Lord, thank you for this wonderful man. He is a blessing to me and our girls. No matter what we are dealing with, I am with him in sickness and in health (even though there has been a lot of sickness :).

Thankfulness

2010-11-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for all of the veterans who have served our country and who are currently serving. Without you, who knows where our country would be. We are blessed to be able to have freedom of speech and worship the God of our choice.

Mourning the Loss

2010-11-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

It was almost 6 years ago that we "up sized" from our very first home. Moving is such a hard thing, this move was going to be it for a while. We were planning on staying in our new house for a long time, it was going to be our home the girls new. Slowly as the years started to go by, we made friends with neighbors, second families were born with them. All the kids in the neighborhood were growing up together, celebrating birthdays together, making memories together.

And then the economy failed. We tried hanging onto our home for over 2 years and it just became impossible. Teacher salaries kept going down, cost of living, gas, groceries, and insurance kept going up. ML has been so dedicated to support our family and I am so proud of him. However, it became time that we make that hard decision to let our house go. It was only the Lord that new that ML would not have a job by the time it finally all went through. And we only trusted the Lord as to where our new home would be located. It has been 4 days in the new house and we are slowly making it our home. We are both mourning the loss of our old house, our old neighbors, and our old familiarity. But we know the Lord has us where He wants us and have to trust that.

In these past year or two, so many families have lost their home. We are now one of them. I only hope and pray that they have the Lord in their lives to see them through...to give them hope...to show them the positives of the change.

So to our "old" neighbors...even though we don't live across from each other we will still consider you neighbors. We will try hard to see you on a regular basis and keep up with your families. You have made a great 5 1/2 years in our home, you have made a long, lasting impression on our hearts. You will forever be friends.

Thankfulness

2010-11-05T09:10:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for being able to move on this 3rd day of moving. Thank you Lord for the help we have been receiving and for the help that is coming tomorrow.

Thankfulness

2010-11-04T07:56:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for a day of successful moving yesterday. I was able to take two loads to the new house, by myself. I paced myself and took a lot of pain pills and I got through. Thank you Lord for a great day.

Happy November!

2010-11-01T12:51:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving is here, or at least the month of it. There is so much to be thankful for and so much to do this month too. We are getting ready to move in a couple of days, but I will try and jot down a few things I am thankful for each day. Please add to the list, I would love to see what you are thankful for. So for today:

I am thankful that ML has a new job opportunity.
I am thankful that the Lord has orchestrated the move from one house to another so perfectly, and now I see that I never should have ever had one ounce of worry.
I am thankful for all of our health. Even though FM can be so troublesome and cause major havoc in my life, it could always be worse.

I'm Famous...

2010-10-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

...well, my boobies are :). As posted before, I have this rare breast infection going on. And yes, it is still going on. So anyhow, this rare disease has completely stumped my doctors and they are having a hard time treating it. My breast surgeon was scheduled for a medical conference and they ended up changing it to a Granulomatous Mastitis conference (which is what I am suffering from) and it was there that I found fame.................My breasts were presented at the conference (no, not in person). I feel so honored (yes, I am a dork).

Actually, this is very cool in the fact that I had I-don't-know-how-many doctors talking about my case. They all conferred as to what steps should be taken, what steps shouldn't be taken (like surgery), and what medicine they should try to help me out. I mean, I figure it can't get any better than that, right?

Even though my doctors don't know why I have this rare infection/disease or how I got it, they are at least committed to helping me through and finding something to help heal/cure this pain in my butt. I really can't stand to have any more biopsies (of course, I will if I have to *pouting*), but I would really like this to be gone. I would like my breasts back (and so would ML :). I am tired of them being sore, having holes in them, and looking like they got beat up in a fight.

But as I always say...It could always be worse!!!!

Great News

2010-10-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Yayyyy, it's not cancer. The results of the biopsy came back and it is still this darn Granulomatous Mastitis. So now we wait to see what my doctor's want to do. But the huge blessing is that it's not cancer. Thank you Lord!

Waiting Again...

2010-10-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

Well, the wait begins again... Here I sit on a Friday night with 2 new holes in my boobies. As of to date, I have had 1 MRI, 3 Mammograms, 5+ Breast Ultrasounds, and 5 Breast Biopsies. I am weary and tired. I wish my breast issues would just disappear. But they haven't so I am dealing with it.

So we wait...until Monday afternoon when the doctor calls with the latest results of today's biopsies. Today was really hard on ML and well, I was just extremely tired (and of course in pain). Chances are that it will not be cancer (just like the other breast), but there is still that small thought in the back of your mind that it could be cancer. Whatever it may be I know that God is with us and will see us through. But I am weary...weary of the pain, weary of the emotions, weary of the worry, weary of the fear.

And so we wait....

Hands, Wrists, Arms

2010-10-21T10:54:00.000-07:00

Today, for some reason, I am having a hard time with my hands, wrists, and arms. Well, it's been going on for a few days/week or so now, but it seems way worse today. I have one thumb that is killing me to use, so I have been trying to not use it. It hurts to pick anything up with my hands, move my wrists, and even use my arms. Holding a telephone is seeming like a huge task today. Typing is ok since my arms are still. Thank goodness for texting because I don't want to pick anything up (not even my cell phone).

I am hoping that it is just a type of a fibro flare-up and hoping that it isn't any arthritis. Guess I will never know until I go to the doctor. Here's to hoping that the pain goes away, that my 3 year old realizes mommy can't pick her up today (let alone hold her hand), and to good friends helping us pack and move boxes.

Pumpkin Patch Fun

2010-10-21T08:00:00.003-07:00

We went to the coolest Pumpkin Patch in Bakersfield, CA last week. There was barely anyone there. It was decorated and layed out so cool for the Fall season, we loved it. We had a nice picnic and tons of fun picking out all of our pumpkins. They had so many different pumpkins, way better than anything in Az, and they were so cheap. We got big ones, small ones, white ones, green gourdes, yellow jelly fish looking ones, etc. So here are some pics of our fun day.

Kid Funny

2010-10-19T11:31:00.002-07:00

Me to Little A: "Are you going to keep those dimples?"

Little A: "NO, I AM NOT GOING TO KEEP MY NIPPLES!

Kid Funny

2010-10-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months, we have really been working with our girls on praying. We want them to get comfortable to pray and to know how to pray. It has really been working. Well, lately at night, my little A has been wanting me to practice praying with her. And so this is how the conversation goes (the same way every night):

A: Mommy you pray for Elmo first.
Me: Dear Jesus, be with Elmo, amen!
A: Dear Jesus, be with twinkle littler star, amen! (all which she takes 5 seconds to say)

I just love the pure hearts of children. It makes me smile and I can only imagine how Jesus feels hearing a prayer from a 3 year olds heart.

Heaven or Kevin?

2010-10-05T08:00:00.001-07:00

My little A just loves the movie Up. For weeks, she watched it 2-3 times a day. She can quote certain lines and when putting her to bed she would ask non-stop questions about the people in the movie. She just loves Mr. Fredrickson, Russel and the bird Kevin.

A few weeks ago, my parents dog had to be put down (she was very old and had cancer). So little A started asking if Ginny was in heaven. She knew that Ginny had gone to be with Jesus in heaven. Of course she had tons of questions about heaven. We told her that Jesus has a house in the sky called heaven and that it is so high up that we can't see it. It has been a great teaching tool.

The funny thing is that when she pronounces heaven she says "kevin." So my question is: is she not able to pronouce heaven with an h or is she confusing heaven with Mr. Frederickson's house being up in the sky from the balloons and Kevin the bird sitting on the house? She talks about Jesus being in "kevin", but I guess I may never know which one she is actually talking about. She can pronouce h's normally, but maybe heaven is just a hard one for her?

Anyway, it just brings a smile to my heart. Either way she knows there is a Jesus and he lives in "kevin" and that maybe there is also a bird named Kevin up there too.

Thankful Sunday!

2010-10-03T16:50:00.002-07:00

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

On this Sunday, I will be thankful for the head cold I have. Even though I feel like my head will explode, I am thankful it's not cancer or a brain tumor. I am thankful that it will only last a week or so. I am thankful that I am the only one who has it in the family. I am thankful that I have it this weekend rather than next weekend when we will be traveling to CA (a surprise from ML).

I pray that my girls and ML don't get sick. I pray for my Grandpa who is still in the hospital. I pray for others who are suffering more than I am.

What are you thankful for and what are your prayers?

Fall is in the Air

2010-09-22T08:00:00.002-07:00

Some one posted this picture on an FM forum I belong too and I just fell in love with it. I just absolutely love Fall.

Enjoy!

Suck It Up

2010-09-20T15:56:00.000-07:00

So I admit it, I have been in a "fibro funk". It's been physically and emotionally, but I think I am finally pulling out of it. I had been going through so much pain there that it then starts wearing on the emotions. And then IT happened...we were at a church bbq and I seemed to go downhill from there.

I was talking casually with a friend and her husband inquired why we hadn't been in church for a while (well, like forever). I started explaining that I hadn't been doing good and then he said it. He told me I just needed to "suck it up." It caught me so off guard that I pretty much just ignored it and kept on talking with his wife.

After we left and I began processing it all, I really started getting upset. Yes, over the years that have been insensitive comments and such, but none this rude. I know this guy is a macho, don't be a sissy kinda guy and I can definitely fault him for being ignorant. But it still affected me.

Like I said, I am doing better know. I had some great friends come to my defense and offer to beat a few people up (thanks friends, it meant the world to me). It also reaffirmed that some how I need to continue educating people on what FM is, but some how not shove it down their throats. It's also important to educate people that invisible illnesses do occur and you can never judge a book by it's cover.

Fibro Friday: National Invisible Illness Awareness Week

2010-09-17T08:00:00.002-07:00

National Invisible Illness Awareness Week

After reading another FM blogger, I just found out that September 13th - 19th is National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. In her blog, she answers if she would rather have a visible illness or a non visible illness. And I think I agree with her...I would prefer a visible illness. If you have a cast on a body or a major scar, crutches, a wheel chair, etc. people can see it. They can understand a little more because it is made more real to them.
Well not with FM, people question how "bad" you are really feeling. They think that if you just take a different medication or exercise or eat differently or whatever that it will make things all better. I have been on the strictest drug regimen that I have ever been on and I am still having bad days. I am used to hiding most all my pain and emotions. I am great at giving off a nice smile and facade.
So here's to all my fellow people that suffer from an invisible illness. You are not forgotten and I have your back. I am right where you are at and right there along side you to support you.

S. Africa Part 1

2010-09-15T08:00:00.002-07:00

ML and I were blessed with an amazing trip to S. Africa (thanks mom and dad). We were going to my brother's wedding (he married a S. African girl). Our 3 Loves stayed with family, so ML and I had a kid free trip. (Our 10 year anniversary is in October so we used the trip as our anniversary trip too).

It was an AMAZING trip. We can't say anything different. We met so many amazing people, had some amazing experiences, ate some different food, and will always remember it. I wanted to highlight some of the best stuff, so here it is.

People

We met our new SIL for the first time (yes, I know a different situation, but it's all good). We really feel like we have a whole new side of the family now. They were just the nicest people. Most everyone of the S. African people we met were very friendly and welcoming.

This lady was going to tell a friend that her relative had passed away.

My parents and I.

Animals

ML and I were absolutely blessed with all of the animals we saw. We were the only ones to see the Big Five in one day (Elephant, Leopard, Buffalo, Lion, Rhino). We have learned that this is a very rare experience and I personally believe the Lord brought the animals to us. We went to Kruger Park and spent 2 nights. And that's where tons of fun was had. We saw animals as we drove through Kruger Park, went on a night safari, and visited the Lion and Rhino Park.

The elephants were awesome. We saw babies, we heard them breaking trees and branches and saw them eating. We heard them talking to each other. It was an amazing sight.

The buffalo's were huge and dangerous. They would just stop and stare at you. Seeing them in a herd crossing the stree,t in front of your safari truck, in the dark was awesome. They just stood there and stared us down. Thank goodness they didn't charge.

I was the one who spotted a set of golden eyes. It turned out to be a female leopard (which seeing a leopard is supposed to be another rare sight). She walked out from under the tree to the road and just walked in the middle of the road. Our safari guide turned the truck around and we followed her as she walked. She eventually went back into the bush and was gone.

The lions were hard to find and so was the rhino. They are all the most amazing animals ever. We also saw many giraffes and impala's were everywhere. Another rare siting, we had was a hippo out of water, which was so cool.

The best animal experience EVER was playing with lion cubs.

They were so much fun. It's an experience we will never forget. They aren't as soft as you would think and boy are they strong.

As soon as ML layed on the ground to play with a female, the male crawled right up on his legs and back. He just played with his pants and had fun.

And boy are their teeth strong, even at this young age. I just looked away from him for a second and he had my wrist in his mouth. It made a mark, but wasn't strong enough to draw blood. But boy, it still hurt.

In Kruger Park, we had so much fun sitting around the campfire for 2 nights. Hyena's would visit us, and one night we decided to entice them to come close to us. The next morning there was a wart hog family that decided to visit us. We were able to touch them and they ate out of our hands.

Food

We had some great food, but it was definitely different. Some of the meat we ate was impala, springbok, and lamb.

Wedding

Of course, we can't forget about the wedding. Hands down, I think it was the funnest wedding we have ever been too. My brother and SIL (who was the most gorgeous bride ever) just wanted it to be a party and for everyone to have fun. Being a part of some of the S. African wedding traditions was very cool. Their dancing is so much fun and the music was pretty interesting. The photographer had us doing some crazy stuff, especially in our red stiletto's. (We were running through the forest and traipsing through burned grass.) This was my first wedding I had ever been in so it was pretty exciting. It was just a fun morning of getting ready and getting our hair and make up done.

We were so sad our girls had to miss this, but ML and I will never forget this trip. It was a once in a lifetime trip. It helped renew family values and helped renew our marriage. We are closer than we have ever been. We will be talking about this trip for years. We froze our butts off, but that was way better than the heat in AZ.

We had fun shopping and brought back some really cool pieces for our house. I got this most amazing coaster set out of a dark wood and the big five animals are carved all over it. I also found a matching, large bowl that is hand carved too. I love this red platter and also came back with tons of hand made jewelry.

Fibro Note: Going from heat to extreme cold put my body into shock, but in a good way. I also know the Lord had a big part to play in it too. I rarely had pain and was able to have enough energy to get me through each day. ML was really surprised at how well I was able to stay up with everyone. I truly thank the Lord for giving me the relief that I needed to get through this once in a lifetime trip.

Revelation

2010-09-13T08:00:00.002-07:00

I had a revelation or an epiphany:

I HAVE A CHRONIC PAIN DISORDER.

Once I found out that I didn't have an autoimmune disorder, I started looking at what I actually have. And that is a chronic pain disorder. Yes, I am pretty much in pain all the time. It's totally true. I don't know why it took me so long to realize this. Maybe I just thought that it was an autoimmune thing that happens to have accompanying pain. But it isn't. It's a disorder of pain, that happens to come with all the other crap I deal with.

I know this may sounds silly, but this really hit me. It really opened my eyes and made me realize that yes, I am in pain pretty much 24/7. Whether it be from my head, to an arm, to a leg, or to my back, I am in pain. Yes, it does fluctuate between mild to severe, but it's there.

I feel that I now have such a greater knowledge of my own illness and I feel enlightened.

Fibro Friday: Autoimmune?

2010-09-10T08:00:00.006-07:00

Whenever I describe what FM is, I would always say that it is an autoimmune disorder. Well, turns out it isn't. I happen to be talking to my rhuematologist about it at my last appointment and she corrected me. I was a little surprised so I decided to do a little of my own research.

All of the websites I googled said nothing about it being an autoimmune disorder (which I swear I saw something one time that did). What they did say is that people are misunderstood and think that it is.

The National Fibromyalgia Association says that:

Fibromyalgia (pronounced fy-bro-my-AL-ja) is a common and complex chronic pain disorder that affects people physically, mentally and socially. Fibromyalgia is a syndrome rather than a disease. Unlike a disease, which is a medical condition with a specific cause or causes and recognizable signs and symptoms, a syndrome is a collection of signs, symptoms, and medical problems that tend to occur together but are not related to a specific, identifiable cause.

Fibromyalgia, which has also been referred to as fibromyalgia syndrome, fibromyositis and fibrositis, is characterized by chronic widespread pain, multiple tender points, abnormal pain processing, sleep disturbances, fatigue and often psychological distress. For those with severe symptoms, fibromyalgia can be extremely debilitating and interfere with basic daily activities.

So there ya have it, I'm just glad I learned this now (after 9 years) so that I can start sharing the correct information.

One of Those Weeks

2010-09-09T11:39:00.001-07:00

Philipians 4:6

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Here I am in another bad week/weeks/month. I am usually very strong emotionally when it comes to all the pain and fatigue, but it usually hits me really hard every couple months. And I am there. In too much pain to do anything or plan anything. No energy to do anything. Feeling guilty that I am doing nothing around the house. Feeling guilty that my 3 year old hasn't had any playdates.

But alas, I remind myself that it could be way worse. I am thankful to have ML home (even thought he doesn't have a job) and he's helping and letting me sit and do nothing. I'm thankful for my healthy girls. Thankful we have a house over our heads and food in the fridge.

So today Philippians 4:6 will be my verse. Don't focus on the negative, all the pain, focus on the positive and be thanking God for the good and the bad.

Rare Am I

2010-09-07T08:00:00.002-07:00

So many things that happen to me medically seem to be rare or unexplainable things. I guess I'd rather be rare than ordinary, but at times it can be so frustrating. And I'd rather not be as rare as a friend of mine. Poor thing is always having the most rare and life threatening things happening to her. (The Lord has given her so much strength to get her through.)

Of course with my Fibro Fog I can't remember all the rare things that have happened to me, but here are a few:

I can't eat fruit and doctors have no explanation as to why.
My epidurals always stop working at some point during a delivery and the doctors have no explanation. They just say this usually doesn't happen.
I have been battling a rare breast infection (only 1% of biopsies are this infection). There is not a lot of information out their for the doctors to know how or why women get it or even on how to treat it.

So Rare Am I! I accept it and live with it. How rare are you?

Happy Labor Day!

2010-09-06T08:00:00.004-07:00

To most Americans, Labor Day is just a day off of work. But what is the true reason for Labor Day you might ask?

Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.

So take some time to really focus on your contributions to this world, whether you are working or not. We all have a personal plan for this world and are a great asset. The only question is: are you living and contributing to your fullest Godly potential?

Fibro Friday: Breasts = A Mess

2010-09-03T08:00:00.004-07:00

Granulo what?

Granulomatous mastitis is a rare condition in which the breast becomes inflamed, developing a mass of tissue which is sometimes mistaken for a cancerous growth.

Granulomatous mastitis has been taking over my life for that last 2 months. It started with a lump in my right breast which my breast surgeon wanted to get an MRI, mammogram and ultrasound done on. It started with a 9 am appointment at the radiology center and ended at 1 pm. I ended up having all of the above done and then 3 biopsies. Things were not looking good and they were convinced that it was cancer.

After a long weekend of waiting, we had great news that it wasn't cancer. It was a granulomatous mastitis infection. I was advised to give it some time to see what happens and if it goes a way. About two weeks later it started shrinking and became somewhat small. (Originally it was massive and when I say massive, I mean about the size of a grapefruit).

And then 2 weeks ago, it hit. Another massive infection in my left breast. I talked to my breast surgeon over the weekend and she got me in to see her on that Monday. She was surprised/shocked/baffled as to what was going on with my boobies. She ordered another mammogram and ultrasound to be done (which I will have next week) and wanted me to see a Rheumatologist about treating the infection with steroids.

Luckily, I already have a Rheumatologist and I was able to see her the next day. She was baffled at the infection and had never heard of it before. Both of my doctors talked and came up with a plan of action which includes a dose of steroids and then see what happens.

The hard part is that doctors don't know how or why women get it. It is a rare infection and they really don't know how to treat it. Research shows that a long course of steroids can treat it, but no where does it say how long of the treatment or what does. So my docs are just trying to see what works.

So far the steroids seem like they are working, the pain is gone and physcially I am feeling so much better. It felt like the infection started taking over my whole body and started a major flare-up in the mean time. For 4 days I was 100% non functional. I could barely walk, my back was completely out, couldn't use my arms, and my neck and head were in extreme pain. It wasn't until I had been on the steroids for a full day that I finally started getting some relief. I am almost done with my steroid treatment, so we shall see what happens. Unfortunately with this condition it can reoccur quite often. Hopefully my doctors will get a good treatment going for me and this will become less of a problem in my life. I want my regular boobies back :).